When my boss told me that I had to write a blog post about bathroom renovation and chickens, I responded by telling him he was crazy. It simply couldn’t be done. You see, my job is to write really random things on the internet that nobody will ever read, and lately, we’ve been drawing things out of a hat to prompt our short pieces. I drew the chicken. My boss told me that if I didn’t get this piece of writing done by the end of the day, I would be fired. How the heck am I supposed to write something about bathroom design, near Melbourne, mind you, and chickens? He’s given me an impossible job. I’m not going to go write a story about chickens needing bathroom renovation or something… Wait, that’s actually a good idea. I could actually do that.
Even still, I wish I had gotten something more interesting out of the hat, like kites. I feel like I could write about bathroom design and kites all day long. I’d write some silly story about the bathroom designer whose son wants to go fly a kite, but he has to go to work. So his son goes and flies his squid kite all on his own, and it takes him on some grand adventure. While the dad is completing bathroom renovations in the Melbourne CBD, he’s wondering what sort of fun things he’s missing out on. By the end of the day, he realises that there are more important things in life than work and money, so he quits his job to go play with his son. Two weeks later, they don’t have any money to pay the mortgage and become homeless.
Wow, that took quite a dark turn. But that’s what most of my stories are like. I love to throw in a twist ending, or something completely random. I have to keep my non-readers entertained, never knowing where a story is going to end up.