A man by the name of Bald Rick entered into my employ today. Although he had performed well in the interview (I was most impressed by his ability to come up with clever and intelligent plans), I must admit that I only hired him because I felt that we had a strange connection, established throughout the ages. I couldn’t shake this feeling, so I turned to the journals of my ancestors. There, I discovered that each of the previous Black-Vipers had themselves a companion by the name of Bald Rick. They are all described as complete buffoons who think they can come up with a “cunning plan” from time to time. Now, my Bald Rick doesn’t seem that unintelligent, but I will need to do some further testing to be sure. I just hope that Bald Rick knows a good glazier near Melbourne seeing as we’re having some trouble in the office.
I have been trying to get Bald Rick to say that he has a cunning plan all day, but I haven’t had any luck. “I really don’t know what to do about this difficult glass balustrade,” I say, but he doesn’t respond at all. All I want is to see his toothy smile as he looks up at me and says, “Boss, I have a cunning plan.” I’ve even tried saying that I really need someone to come up with a cunning plan. Even after that, Bald Rick hasn’t offered me anything. He has come up with “brilliant” plans and “smart” plans, but no “cunning” plans. That is the trademark of all Bald Ricks.
Strangely, despite the name, Bald Rick actually isn’t bald. Perhaps his ancestors were bald, but the journals I possess say nothing about that. Unfortunately, I don’t have any other way to tell whether he is a genuine Bald Rick.
Wait a minute! I think I may have just thought up a cunning plan. I’m going to find myself a George!
– Edward Black-Viper V