It is always my fault. No matter what happens it is as if I purposefully plotted for it to go wrong and be against us. It is simply unfair. The tree developed vertical cracks that put it in danger of falling, hence putting us in danger of being fallen on. From the attitude I am getting you would think I intentionally harmed the tree causing the vertical cracks and therefore, landing the major bill for tree removal in our mailbox. Luckily I have actually managed to find an excellent company specialising in tree felling in Melbourne who aren’t charging me the cost of the planet for the job. But still, my point stands, it is as much an grievance to me as it is my wife yet, I am the one that is in the position of the wrongdoer. It is then down to me to make the situation better. So I arranged for the tree removal, got the best price and made sure to be home when it was happening. I signed off on all the plans and felt like the bad guy.
It’s unfair! Anyway, instead of standing my ground I bought my wife flowers and apologised for the impending tree removal. I told her about the highly recommended tree lopping services in Melbourne and that I had arranged everything around my schedule. She mumbled thanks and semi apologised for her bad mood. Apparently her moods are for both of us, because she mourns the loss of our money, and the opportunity cost of tree removal. Hopefully once the tree is done and the bill is paid we can put this whole thing behind us. All I know is, I would rather foot the bill for professional tree removal than for hospital bills and house repairs when the tree inevitably would have fallen on us. This entire ordeal has been all too much for me. I feel like I need a holiday on a Island with very few trees.
You know, I 
Just taking a break at the moment- roaming all around Melbourne is hard work, even if I’m just combing the areas close to the CBD. It’s not my native city, either; I hail from Brisbane, which I have to say is just a little bit easier to get around. or maybe it’s just because I’m not used to it?
There’s nothing funny or casual about being employee of the month. The best employee of each lunar cycle has their picture put up on the wall, and that is the true goal of practically everyone who works here, probably. Right now, it’s been my picture for three months running, and it’s only been that amount of time because I’ve only been here for three months. 
Australia is a proud sporting nation, and that’s something that we’re starting to forget with all this technology bouncing around nowadays. I miss the older times, when weekends were spent watching sport, playing sport, training for sport, and on the odd occasion we might 
Sometimes I wish there were still agony aunt columns where people could write in about their woes and get answers from straight talking, faceless people. The internet just isn’t the same, what with all these people waiting around the corner with their fake psychic advice columns. I’ve been burned by those one too many times!
Remember when the company sent out Christmas cards to all of our clients, filled with glitter, and the office was covered in glitter for the next six months? That was a bad idea. So when last year the boss suggested sending out Christmas cards filled with little cutouts of our faces to be used as some kind of sick confetti, I protested. It was a weird idea, and the worst part was sitting there for three days cutting out tiny printouts of our faces. I think that’s where my mistrust and dislike of Ivan started; he has a very odd-shaped head, and his always took far too long.
Sometimes, when you’re young, you put all your hope and trust in heroes. And then you grow up and realise that everyone lets you down, even people you truly admire.
Call me lazy, but I’m always going to be one of those people looking for a quick fix. An easy way out, if you will. A manner in which I can avoid the long-haul, tedious, intense work that everyone else constantly has to do and skip right ahead to the good stuff. At school, I was the first person to discover Sparknotes, the first kid to befriend the nerd and ask for their notes, and the first kid to forge parents’ signatures to get out of things I didn’t want to do. I never broke the rules, exactly, but I always worked out the maximum give – the most I could bend them before they snapped. 
Aw. No.