What Happened Out at Sea

OH. MY. BARNACLES.

Setting an entire episode of a television show at sea is a bold and artistic decision. Surely it has never been done before, in the history of art, so now that ‘Week of Our Lives’ has decided to do it I’m full of admiration and praise.

So Amelie has been acting strange for the past few weeks, and nobody really knew what was up but they thought they’d go along with the annual girls’ trip anyway. Josie suggested they hire a boat since they  hadn’t done it before and they were also celebrating Alanis being free from the crippling fear of the ocean she got when she was six and crowned Queen of Sandcastles, only for a random wave to destroy her prize-winning sculpture of a killer whale devouring a seal.

So that happened. It helped that Ingrid’s boyfriend had mad crazy awesome connections in the Melbourne anchor winch industry, so they were able to set off with a fully-functioning anchor winch. Except the kicker came as they went onto the open water, partying it up and having a great time. One by one, they realised that none of them were able to lower the anchor. Callie suffers from a degenerative muscle disease from being bitten by a rabid lemur. Dana has a moral and spiritual obligation against operating machinery. Alanis suddenly regressed and became severely aquaphobic, while Ingrid became paralysed by a flashback of the day her father revealed his allegiance to the Yugoslavian special forces. The only one left was Amelie…except it turns out that the sixth of her split personalities was secretly planning this the whole time, knowing that the anchor winch would be that which doomed them to drift the seas forever. And to top it all off, Ingrid’s boyfriend’s connections to Melbourne’s outboard motor repair turned out to be a lie; he made it up to sound important, leaving their outboard motor…NOT repaired. Such drama and intrigue! How will they make it home? Will Amelie regain control from her mental civil war? I know I’m staying tuned to find out.

-Leticia

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