If I had to pick my dream job…it’d be mine. My job would be my dream job. It’s actually, truly, verifiably the best job in the world. Don’t quote me, because I’m sure J.J. Abrams is having a great time right now riding a solid gold surfboard over piles of both his millions and the printed-out critic reviews telling him of his own greatness, but I think mine is pretty good.
See, I’m a hacker. One of the good ones. In fact, I make viruses for a job. Lots of people around Melbourne do web design courses, and what with online shopping swelling to the point where it looks like every retailer might be chucking all their wares onto the internet, privacy has never been more important. Web design and implementation is a popular course option, but it’s my job to make sure they’ve really covered the nitty-gritty. Their websites need to be safe, secure and pleasant for people to use…and nothing is unpleasant quite like having your credit card details stolen when you’re trying to do your dear old mum a solid and buy her that expensive teapot that she always wanted. Just think of your mum! How disappointed will she be when she not only doesn’t get that wonderful teapot, but she has to deal with the vicarious stress of you calling up the card company, cancelling everything, cursing the internet overlords for allowing this to happen…
You get the picture. So my job is to create all kinds of fun little viruses, packed full of nasty surprises, to test the students and their web design skills. Security is their number one priority. You can have an ugly website, but as long as you’re selling something people want, you can get by. Not so if people stay away due to being hacked repeatedly. Sometimes I’ll go the whole hog and make a devastating Trojan that gives me control over their PC. That’s how they know they’ve failed. It’s tough, but a web development course isn’t a picnic. You have to know your stuff.
-Reuben